i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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