Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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