I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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