so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
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My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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