He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize