i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
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The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
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This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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