He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize