I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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