i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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