Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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