You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize