your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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