my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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