Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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