Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize