The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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