After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize