Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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