this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
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Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize