so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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