Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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