Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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