he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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