I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me i tasted like america
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
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