We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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