Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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