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Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
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