i need an iv and a liver transplant
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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