are you still at the devil's house?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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