So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
pray to the hookup gods
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize