He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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