i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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