This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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