And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize