As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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