she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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