Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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