and you said cock pushups were impossible
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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