This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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