3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize