know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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