She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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