Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
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I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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