At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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