Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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