I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
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Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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