best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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