guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize