lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
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i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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