So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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